Three Encounters as a Twin Mom

Encounters of a Twin Mom

I encountered three people today, and I wanted to share my interactions with them in short scenes:

Scene 1:

(Coming out of the gym’s nursery, pushing the babies in the stroller. I stopped, while waiting for Tim to come out of the men’s locker room.)

Woman: (to no one in particular) Twins!? (to her friend, but so I could hear) Oh, double trouble.

Me: No. My children aren’t trouble at all. Double the love.

(Tim came out of the locker room and we walked away.)

 

Scene 2:

(Walking around Babies R Us, a woman, her husband, and her sick-looking 3-year-old child encountered us.)

Woman: Oh, twins. How awful!

Me: No. It’s actually quite wonderful!

Woman: Well, I keep children all day…

Me: I do too (pointing to my two children)

 

Scene 3:

(Walking around Costco, me pushing the stroller and carrying David after he was upset, Tim pushing the cart. We were approached by an older woman.)

Woman: Twins! How beautiful.

Me: Yes! Thank you!

 

These events prompted me to write this on my personal Facebook page:

If you are out and about and see someone with twins, the proper response is “How wonderful” and not “How awful” and “Double trouble.” I usually try to be a good Twin Mom Ambassador, but with those two hateful comments spoken directly to me about my children (who are not trouble or awful and are absolutely wonderful), I wasn’t going to let it slide today. I had to point out how rude they were to say that to me about my children (who they don’t know). This is an epidemic, where people feel like they can say whatever they want. Again, usually I try to be good and patient, but the tone of these two women’s comments were so ugly, I was caught off guard.

 

Of course, Tim’s reaction to all of this was anger, as mine was. You know, every time we go out, I know that we might encounter either of these types of people (positive or negative). Some days I handle it better than others. Today was anger. Tim was relieved that he didn’t overhear the woman in Scene 2, or it would not have been as “nice” a conversation.

After my Facebook post, I was so happy with the outpouring of support from my friends and family. It was what I needed.

And then, at dinnertime, this happened:

I love my children!

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Comments

  1. This video is so sweet and funny on so many levels. It is as if they both take all of the comments and unasked for opinions and say “oh yeah?” And then they went on to be the cutest, most adorable and sweetest babies ever! Why people feel that they have to interject their thoughts onto another person is beyond me. Sometimes, people just think they are so funny (and they really are not). Sometimes they think they are so clever (they aren’t that either). Hopefully as time goes on, you will become more impervious to the stupid things some people say and that they will also realize that it isn’t cute, funny, original or appropriate. I love you all so much!

  2. I’m sorry you’ve had such terrible dealings with people! I’m only expecting one, and I know that will be hard work…I give you props for doing it with two! It amazes me what people think is ok to say to another person.

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  3. Our twins are 18 months old, and while we still get a fair share of the double trouble type comments, most folks are honestly just so excited and amazed by twins that they just don’t always think about what they are saying. I think most of it is good intentioned even if it comes out seeming otherwise. (To me the rudest comments are from strangers who ask if the twins are “natural” when what they really mean to ask is if I had to undergo fertility treatments – because isn’t that what you ask every stranger with a baby in the Target check outline?)

    It used to drive my husband crazy when people would stop to ask about and ogle the babies, but now we both just roll with it as it is a part of life with multiples. It’s hard sometimes as parenting twins is both wonderful and exhausting, but hang in there twin momma! Those negative nellies just don’t know the beautiful moments only we get to see like the twins snuggling in to each other for a nap, holding hands while they breastfeed or making each other laugh the biggest belly laughs ever. The first year was tough, but we all survived and each day gets to be more and more fun! Twin mommies (& daddies) are a special breed!:)

  4. ariana galindo says:

    I have 6 kids (

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