Thing to Say/Not Say to a Twin Mom

Things To Say and Not To Say to Parents of Twins

When we go out in public, we play a game: Count the Comments. We just count on our fingers the number of people that make some sort of comment about our twins. And woah, what comments we get! Here are the things that you should (and shouldn’t) say to a twin mom and dad.

Things Not to Say to a Twin Mom and Dad

  • Look, twins!
  • Hey honey, take a picture!
  • Can I touch them?
  • Are they twins?
  • A boy and a girl? You’re done! (Note: Although we only wanted two children originally, I sometimes want to have more just so that people will not make this comment anymore.)
  • Ugh. Twins./ I can’t imagine./ Shoot me./ (something equally as ugly)
  • Are they natural?
  • Did you do anything special to get them?
  • Were you trying for twins?
  • Did you plan that?
  • They are so tiny!
  • Oh, I had kids that were a year/two years apart. That’s just like twins.
  • I always wanted twins!
  • My sister/cousin/friend/acquaintance has twins! (Note: I don’t care unless you yourself have twins. Then you can tell me that.)

Things to Say to a Twin Mom and Dad

  • What a blessing!
  • You are a rock star!
  • Congratulations. They are beautiful!
  • You look amazing!
  • Wow! YOU had twins?!
  • ANYTHING from another twin mom or dad (they are generally really friendly and supportive)


So, what were some of the things that people have said to you that were wonderful or made you go “hm…”? You don’t have to be a Mother of Multiples to answer!

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  1. Hahah! I agree with all of these. We always get comments with our three boys that “we have our hands full” and “wow three boys, that’s going to be fun” it gets old hearing that from everyone lol. (We have twins too and another boy that is one year older than them)

    • I hear ya there, I have 5 boys (twins are the youngest) and some comments get old really quick. ” 5 boys WOW!! You’ve got a basketball team.”

  2. They are beautiful and you are a rockstar!

  3. I think every new twin mom goes through the stage of getting these comments. I’m often thankful that I don’t get many twin comments anymore. I LOVED all those comments you mentioned. I even enjoyed comments like “I always wished I had a twin” or “I want twins!” or just generally comments about how beautiful my girls were or how blessed I was!!

    I remember I once disarmed a woman who was like, “Twins! How’s that?” said sarcastically, to which I replied, “Great!” She then mumbled something about having kids close in age… Ha.

    • When I was pregnant, I usually got well-wishes or happy comments. Early on when we had the twins out and about, we had those kind and sweet comments too. Lately, however, I’ve just noticed how ignorant some people can be. Maybe it’s the exhaustion speaking. Mainly the thing that gets to me is when someone stares at us, looks at us like we are aliens, or makes a comment after we pass them. Hello! We can hear you! 🙂

  4. Also, any type of comparison: Which one is more dominant? Are they very much alike? Are they very different? I always hate when people ask if my b/g twins are identical and then note how much they look like when I tell them no. Of course, they look alike, they’re brother and sister!

  5. We generally attract a lot of attention when we take our b/g twins out. I understand people are curious and the idea of twins is always so fascinating which is why I’m pretty patient when answering the same questions I had been asked 5 times previously by another person/couple… but there are some people who don’t think before they speak.

    There’s this one comment in particular made by a mom of two boys… “How hard can it be? You just do things twice”. I flipped! “Not exactly! Twins are still separate people, both with different personalities and both with different needs”. This just goes to show some people just think they know it all and can relate to mothers with twins. Let me say this, ONLY moms with twins can truly relate to other moms with twins.

    But aside from the not-so-thoughtout comments, people are generally very nice and supportive by offering advice… I especially love bumping into other moms with twins. We usually have a pretty lengthy covo.

    We usually get “You are so lucky!” and the “You are so blessed!” 🙂


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  2. […] cause I can. For our multiple moms, Katy shared 5 great tips to survive the NICU, Dory shared things to say and not to say to twin mommas, Christina shared things to include on your twin baby registry, and Alison celebrated her […]

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