They say that when you are pregnant, you lose any filter that helps you think before you speak. Well, that is 100% true for me. And that has led to a couple of touchy moments. Thankfully, Tim has been with me during each of these instances, and he has helped me to diffuse the situation quickly (mostly by cracking up laughing). Oh, how I love my husband. I hope you are ready for some “She Said What?” Pregnancy Edition:
1. Setting the Scene: We are sitting in our kitchen when I am about 7 weeks pregnant. There were some things that started to be a little… well… iffy in my diet, so Tim was taking over the grocery shopping. He had just made his first trip to the store. When he got home, I was on the phone with my mom, and he was trying to fix me something to eat.
Tim: (In between me talking to my mom) Dor, what can I get you to eat?
Me: I’m really not feeling like anything.
Tim: How about this… or this… or this…?
Me: No, nothing sounds good.
Tim: What about some summer sausage? You love that! (He holds it up)
Me: EW! Why in the world would you suggest that? That is disgusting! Get it out of my face! That smells horrible, and I’m going to throw up! (Note: Tim is right and I normally do love summer sausage, but it had no place in my early-pregnancy diet or cravings.)
Mom: Um…? (Note: My mom always wants me to be careful with what I say to Tim because he is always so wonderful to me.)
Tim: (Cracking up)
Me: (Cracking up because Tim is cracking up) It’s okay, Mom! Tim is laughing. He knows it’s the babies talking and not me. Seriously, Tim, never show me that %($# again. That’s gross. (Said in between giggles)
2. Setting the Scene: My parents were visiting that same weekend (7 weeks pregnant), and they brought us Bodo’s Bagels, the most delicious bagels in the history of the world. Now, I was picky about the eating of my Bodo’s before I got pregnant. Afterwards, I entered a whole new level of pickiness (toasted, warm/piping hot, not too much/not too little cream cheese). I was upstairs, finishing getting ready, and my parents had just come in with the bagels. Tim brought me a bagel, freshly cut and with cream cheese on it.
Me: Ew. What’s that?
Tim: It’s a bagel. You need to eat something.
Me: You thought I would eat that? It’s not toasted.
Mom: (calling up the stairs) This is the only time that I’m going to let her talk like that to you Tim! In 7 months, I’ll make her be nice to you again.
Of course, we were all laughing at my mom’s sudden allowance of my bad moods. Thankfully, Tim was laughing the hardest.
3. Setting the Scene: We were looking at diaper bags in a baby store, and the saleslady was showing us some different bags. I went in with a very specific look and type of bag that I wanted, and I carefully explained it to her, but I neglected to talk about the color. I knew they didn’t have it, but I wanted to just see the style in person before we put it on the registry.
Me: I really like the XYZ, because it opens all the way. Do you have any others that have that feature?
Saleslady: Well, we have this one in a nice, basic black…
Me: That would be nice… if I had no personality. (I immediately slap a hand over my mouth in horror at what I just rudely said.)
Tim: (Turns his back because he has erupted in a fit of giggles)
Me: I am so sorry! These babies make the rudest things come out of my mouth!
Saleslady: (Giggling too) That’s okay. I don’t like the plain black for a diaper bag either.
4. Setting the Scene: I don’t know that I need to really set the scene for this one. Just enjoy the “huh?” feeling.
Tim: I love you!
Me: You’re welcome!